i really donnoe what's wrong with me.
depressed, moodless, feeling ULTRA STUPID. i'm just another ordinary idiot i guess. an idiot like any other. one BIG, STUPID idiot, like euu. just dumber only.

just now RC training. nth to do. just listen to first aid lesson theory. i was IC larhs, literally. got toilet and water break. 5 mins. water break is i ask one lurhs, or else we all get dehydrated. supposed to be 5 mins. but then me and some sec ones go take coke bottle so end up 10 mins. wait till everyone report then i go report to sir. lyk that, also fun. then senior Edna lyk DAMN good. she volunteer to teach new recruits fall in, fall out, and basic foot drills. i mean she like very PRO liao lurhs. she also teach me how march and turn! wow, the power of humanity. she's so noble. okay, she is THAT good marhs. walk here walk there... then end training that time go take unif0rm measurements. that's good. getting uniform soon. can take photo with BB guys and me when i get the uniform.(we will try to wear the burrey. it depends.) LOL first group photo with the guys! how wonderful... :) this morning fall in got 2 sec 4 lance fall in. must be nvr turn up for POP. lol. RANKLESS AND BADGELESS. my concious(uniform) is clear. anyway, it's new :) LOL

today almost quarrel with BeiBei. dunnoe why. just DEPRESSED maybe. have been like that for that past few days. i just don't know.


make it happen. make history repeat. hold me tight. i'm out cold. i need some warmth. hold my hand. leave this world with me. leave everything behind. just go with me. be my accompaniment. all euu need to do is believe in me. i don't want to lose euu. i'm alwys there. euu just take me for granted. i'm just wanting to be loved. i'll wait till the day some people say they love me and mean it. i just want to jump off the building. alone. accompany me if you might. jump off. leave all troubles in this world then leave to a better one. with me. just drop dead.